The heartbreaking rise in youth suicides in Singapore is impossible to ignore. In 2023, nearly 30% of suicides involved individuals under the age of 29, with an alarming number – almost one-third – being children and youths between the ages of 10 and 19. Suicide has tragically become the leading cause of death among our youth, surpassing accidents and illnesses. This devastating reality forces us to confront the intense pressures that many of our young people face every day.

Though the media often refrains from reporting youth suicides, perhaps out of concern for contagion effects or protecting vulnerable individuals, those of us working in mental health witness this silent epidemic. These cases are not just confined to adolescents; even children in primary school are not immune. Behind every statistic is a young life lost, and with it, a family and community left grieving, searching for answers.

The youths who take their own lives often appear to be thriving—excelling academically, socially, and physically. Yet beneath this veneer of success can lie a deep, unnoticed despair that ultimately becomes too much to bear.

How Hope and Hopelessness Influence Youth Suicide

Hopelessness is a significant factor in suicide risk across all ages, representing a profound state of despair where individuals feel trapped in an unchangeable situation, with suffering that seems endless. This overwhelming sense of hopelessness can lead to the belief that death is the only escape, making it one of the strongest predictors of suicidal behavior. When hope is lost, the risk of suicide dramatically increases.

For young people, hopelessness often stems from life stressors they perceive as insurmountable. Unlike adults, children and youths typically have less experience dealing with complex emotional challenges and may lack the coping mechanisms needed to navigate their despair. Additionally, their natural impulsivity can exacerbate the situation. Young people are more prone to making rash decisions in moments of intense emotion, often without fully considering the consequences. This impulsivity, combined with feelings of hopelessness, can dangerously heighten the risk of suicide, as a young person may act on suicidal thoughts suddenly, leaving little opportunity for intervention.

The interplay between hope and hopelessness is crucial in understanding youth suicides. Hope is a vital psychological resource that begins to develop early in childhood. It starts to form in infancy when a child learns to trust their caregivers and becomes more established around ages 3 to 5, when children develop a sense of purpose and the ability to envision a positive future. However, as children grow older and face more complex social and academic pressures, their sense of hope can be threatened, especially if they encounter repeated failures or rejection. When these pressures become too great, and the child or youth sees no way out, hope can be replaced by hopelessness.

As a parent, it’s essential to understand that even the most successful children can struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Despite outward appearances of success, some youths battle intense internal pressures, setting impossibly high standards for themselves. When they fail to meet these expectations, the resulting feelings of hopelessness, compounded by impulsivity, can lead to a dangerous downward spiral.

Understanding the fragility of hope in our young people is then crucial to grasping the triggers behind youth suicides. But what are these pressures that push them beyond the brink?

Understanding the Triggers Behind Youth Suicide

Through my practice, I’ve encountered many young individuals overwhelmed by circumstances they don’t know how to navigate—circumstances that drive them to contemplate, or even attempt, suicide. One case that stands out is that of a 12-year-old girl whose parents discovered a suicide note hidden in her pencil case. She had poured out her feelings of profound loneliness, all stemming from the rejection of a crush whom she saw as her ‘true love.’ When she tried to talk to her parents about her heartache, they dismissed her emotions, telling her to focus on her studies instead since she was not doing well. For her, this response deepened her isolation. In her note, she expressed that she felt like a burden to her family and believed they would be happier without her. (For the record, this child is alive, and with the support of her parents, she is now receiving the care she needs and is on the path to healing.)

This case, like many others, reminds us that youth suicide is rarely the result of one factor. It’s often an accumulation of pressures—romantic rejection, academic stress, family dynamics, and more. And while romantic relationships are an important part of adolescence, young people’s sense of self-worth is often tied to many areas—be it friendships, peer acceptance, or family approval.

As a mental health professional, cases like this weigh heavily on me. They reinforce how critical it is to listen to our children, even when their struggles seem small to us. This experience, and countless others, have deeply influenced my approach to treating at-risk youths. I’ve learned that what we might dismiss as “typical teenage angst” or fleeting concerns can be the very thing pushing a young person to the edge. Every cry for help, no matter how subtle, deserves to be heard.

I often ask myself, “What can we do better?” or “What more can be done?” In my years of practice, the answer has always come down to fostering connections—helping young people feel seen and heard before their pain becomes too overwhelming to manage. These stories shape the way I approach my work and emphasise the importance of never underestimating the emotional lives of our youths.

Youth suicides are rarely caused by one isolated factor. It’s usually the accumulation of stressors—romantic rejection, academic pressure, and more—that can push a young person beyond their breaking point.

Romantic rejection, particularly a first heartbreak, is one of the most common and emotionally intense triggers for young people. Adolescents often experience their first romantic relationships with immense intensity, and when these relationships end, it can feel like the end of the world. Many young people’s sense of identity and self-worth becomes closely tied to their romantic relationships, and a breakup or rejection can lead to overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, despair, and hopelessness. For some, this emotional pain can feel unbearable, especially when combined with other stressors in their lives.

Academic pressure is another recurring theme when young people talk about their stressful situations. Students often feel that their worth is tied to their performance, leading to immense stress. When combined with other stressors like friendship or family issues, the result can be overwhelming despair. We must also consider how these pressures interact with individual vulnerabilities, such as a predisposition to anxiety or depression, to fully understand why some youths are more affected than others.

Identity confusion is also a significant factor. Adolescence is a time of exploration, especially concerning personal identity, gender identity, and sexual orientation. For some, navigating these aspects of themselves can lead to significant distress, particularly if they feel unsupported or misunderstood.

Child abuse—whether physical, emotional, or sexual—can create overwhelming feelings of worthlessness and despair. Studies have shown that children who experience abuse are significantly more likely to develop mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, which are risk factors for suicide. The trauma from abuse can worsen hopelessness, making it difficult for these youths to see a future free from pain.

Family issues, particularly parental disputes or divorce, can also contribute to emotional distress. While not all divorces lead to emotional distress, the instability or conflict surrounding a family breakdown can be deeply unsettling for young people, potentially leading to suicidal thoughts.

It is important to understand that children and youths often face more than one stressor at a time, and these stressors can accumulate, making the situation feel even more overwhelming and inescapable. By recognising the complex interplay of mental health disorders, environmental factors, stressors, and individual vulnerabilities, we can better appreciate the depth of the challenges that many young people face.

Social Media’s Impact on Youth Mental Health

In a world where young people already face immense pressure, social media often amplifies their challenges. It’s not just a space for connection—it’s a constant stream of comparison, where vulnerable youths measure their lives against the carefully curated, often unattainable standards set by their peers.

Many of the young patients I’ve seen talk about how they feel ‘less than’ when scrolling through platforms like Instagram and TikTok. While these platforms can offer a sense of connection, they can also foster deep feelings of inadequacy. For youths already struggling with self-esteem or personal challenges, these comparisons can be devastating. The image of success, beauty, and happiness they see online becomes yet another unattainable goal—further driving feelings of worthlessness.

Cyberbullying is another significant issue that I have encountered in my practice. The anonymity of the internet allows bullies to harass others with little fear of consequences. Victims of cyberbullying often feel isolated and powerless, trapped in a cycle of psychological distress. The pressure to maintain a certain image online, combined with the fear of public humiliation, can push vulnerable youths toward suicidal thoughts as they see no way to escape the relentless negativity.

As a parent, it’s vital to engage in open conversations with your children about their online experiences. Rather than imposing strict bans on screen time, which may feel punitive, encourage your children to share what they see and how it makes them feel. Creating a safe space for these discussions can help them develop a healthy perspective on social media and reduce the impact of negative comparisons.

Supporting Those Affected: The Role of Postvention

Postvention, the support provided to those affected by a suicide, is a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of suicide prevention. The impact of a suicide extends far beyond immediate family members, affecting friends, classmates, teachers, and even acquaintances. In my own experience, I witnessed this firsthand when my daughter lost a friend after a fall from heights. I was heartened to see that the school had structured interventions in place to support classmates and teachers during this difficult time.

However, it’s important to remember that structured postvention processes often focus on those directly involved in formal settings, such as schools. Other social groups that are equally affected by the suicide may be overlooked. These include peers
from enrichment classes, playground friendships, virtual friend groups, and other less formal social circles. These groups can be just as devastated by the loss, and it is essential to extend postvention efforts to these communities as well.

Effective postvention can take many forms. Schools can start by providing immediate mental health support, such as on-site counselors, and creating spaces where students can talk openly about their grief. Peer support groups can also be invaluable in helping young people process their emotions together. Schools and communities should work to destigmatise conversations about suicide and loss, ensuring that students feel safe expressing their feelings without fear of judgment. Another critical step is offering long-term support—grief doesn’t disappear after a few weeks. Schools and community organisations should follow up with affected youths in the months after a suicide, helping them manage their ongoing emotions.

Just as important as support in schools is the involvement of families in the healing process. Parents and guardians are often a young person’s primary emotional support, and it is essential that they be part of the conversation. Family members should be prepared to discuss the loss in a way that is developmentally appropriate for their child’s age and emotional maturity. Younger children may not fully understand the permanence of death and might express their grief through behavior changes or play, while adolescents might need space to process their more complex emotions, often experiencing a heightened sense of vulnerability. Parents should create a safe, open environment where their child feels supported in sharing their feelings without fear of dismissal.

This is where age-appropriate conversations become so vital. Discussing suicide and loss with children and adolescents requires sensitivity, but it’s necessary to ensure they feel seen and understood. Younger children might need simple explanations, focusing on reassurance and security, while older youths may need a space to explore their feelings more deeply. It’s crucial for parents to acknowledge their child’s emotions, validate their pain, and provide ongoing support as grief evolves.

By providing compassionate and consistent postvention support, we can help those left behind heal from their grief and prevent further emotional distress. It’s vital to remember that postvention is not just about reacting to loss but about reinforcing the connections and resilience that can help prevent future tragedies. Families, schools, and communities must work together to provide a holistic, age-appropriate approach to support, ensuring no young person feels isolated in their grief.

Taking Action: Preventing Youth Suicide Together

Preventing youth suicide demands a collective effort. Families play a pivotal role in the well-being of young people. Parents need to foster open communication, ensuring that their children feel safe to express their fears and anxieties. This involves creating a home environment where emotional expression is encouraged and where children know they will be supported and not judged when they share their struggles. It’s equally important for parents to be aware of the signs of distress—such as changes in mood and behavior, withdrawal from social activities, or declining academic performance—and to be proactive in offering emotional support or seeking professional help when needed.

Schools must prioritise mental health by creating supportive environments that recognise the importance of emotional well-being alongside academic success. Schools should work to reduce the stigma of help-seeking and suicide prevention. Teachers and other staff need to be trained to identify signs of distress and intervene appropriately. Additionally, schools can incorporate programs that teach coping mechanisms and stress management skills, helping students build resilience in the face of challenges.

As a broader community, we must challenge the societal norms that contribute to the immense pressure on young people. This includes rethinking our definitions of success and ensuring that mental health resources are accessible and timely. Public awareness campaigns can play a significant role in changing perceptions about mental health and reducing stigma. Policymakers, too, have a crucial role to play in creating supportive frameworks that address the root causes of youth suicide—such as reducing academic pressure, combating child abuse, and regulating the impact of social media.

Addressing youth suicide is a daunting task, but by tackling the root causes, fostering communication, and creating supportive environments, we can help our young people find hope and resilience. Everyone has a role in this effort because, ultimately, it is the collective compassion and determination of the community that will make the difference.

Where to get help:

Mental Well-being

• Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
• Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (CareText via WhatsApp)
• Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
• Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928
• Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788
• Community Health Assessment Team 6493-6500/1

Counselling

• TOUCHline (Counselling): 1800-377-2252
• TOUCH Care Line (For Seniors & Caregivers): 6804-6555
• Care Corner Counselling Centre: 6353-1180

Online Resources

• Mindline SG
• Stay Prepared – My Mental Health
• ec2.sg

• Tinkle Friend
• Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health
• Care Corner