“It is the end of an era…” I recalled thinking this whilst strolling around the neighbourhood with my baby in the carrier during the week leading up to my return to work. A wave of what felt like grief washed over me as I reflected on the last four months; the ups, the downs, and the bittersweet knowledge that I would never again have this luxury of 24/7 time with her.

Other waves of thought rolled in: the anxiety of balancing work and caregiving when managing the baby alone already felt barely under control; the guilt and worry of leaving her in infant care at such a young age; the uncertainty of whether I could come to terms with it.

Returning to work after maternity leave is often viewed as a natural phase in a working mother’s life, almost like returning from annual leave. Yet many overlook the nuanced, significant changes that occur. This is a major life event. What happens at the workplace after return can greatly influence how a mother navigates the two paths of motherhood and career.

When governments discuss declining birth rates, inadequate workplace support is often cited. If raising children is perceived as incompatible with stable careers, people may delay or avoid having children. In today’s society, with rising costs of living and increasing dual-income families, robust parental support is more vital than ever.

Emotional Transition

The prologue captured only a snapshot of thoughts from a few minutes. Imagine the variety, intensity, magnitude, and repetitiveness of these feelings over an extended period. These thoughts are not consistently negative or positive and it is their conflicting nature that makes them confusing to navigate.

The positives include witnessing the little moments of her rapid development and, honestly, a subtle relief at resuming some part of my pre-motherhood life. But the negative feelings can be overwhelming: sadness at missing moments of her life, anxiety about juggling work and motherhood, fear of losing my professional edge, and guilt for prioritising one over the other.

There’s an identity shift as we learn to walk both paths simultaneously, and figuring out the clearer route takes time. Largely, these emotional adjustments happen quietly, beneath meetings, emails, and polite “welcome back” messages.

The Practical Reality

Emotions aside, daily routines shift dramatically. Previously, getting ready for work was straightforward. Now, it involves coordinating your wake time with your child’s, leaving less time for yourself.

Childcare arrangements come in various forms, be it infant care, domestic help, or family support; each with considerations of cost, availability, and emotional weight. Leaving your child with anyone else can trigger worry about their wellbeing. For myself, I had decided that what would work best for my family is for her to enter infant care. School drop-offs are unpredictable: some days they walk in happily; others, they cling to you desperately.

By the time you reach the office, you may feel like you’ve survived a battle. The urgency to pick them up on time lingers all day, and if they fall sick at school, the scramble for last-minute childcare arrangements, combined with guilt over leaving work unfinished, can be overwhelming.

For breastfeeding mothers, maintaining supply requires adhering to pumping schedules. Late pumping can cause leakage, and you will need access to a clean, private space and proper milk storage. Consider where these facilities exist in your workplace.

The “night shift” begins when you arrive home: cooking, cleaning, laundry, meal prep, and bedtime routines. Sleep, or the lack of it, becomes a constant concern. The night duties may also need negotiation between partners.

The Workplace Experience

The first weeks back can feel disorienting. There are changes to catch up on, new systems to learn, and a strange blend of familiarity and unfamiliarity. The pressure to perform at pre-leave levels is immediate, yet cognitive functioning is still ramping up. There’s the risk of being viewed as less committed, that maternity leave was somehow a “break” and the need to prove yourself as a valuable team member. Concerns linger: Will I be overlooked for promotions? Will I be taken seriously?

Why Support Matters

Adequate support for mothers is not optional, it’s essential. Without it, organisations lose valuable employees to resignation or less demanding roles. Mothers should not be perceived as less committed, ambitious, available, or promotable. Yet this mentality persists, leading to overlooked promotions, slower pay growth, and exclusion from leadership.

Returning mothers often carry disproportionate caregiving responsibilities at home while workplaces remain designed around “ideal workers” with no care burdens. The expectation falls on women to adapt, not on systems to evolve and support them better.

Long-term consequences are serious: mounting stress, burnout, and mental health issues. Better support creates tangible benefits: a more productive workforce, retained experienced employees, reduced turnover, improved morale and loyalty, and a genuinely inclusive workplace. Broadly, it helps maintain women’s labour participation and contributes to addressing falling birth rate concerns, making it a critical discussion point in family policy debates.

What Better Support Looks Like

Support must be intentional, well-rounded, and practical.

Return-to-work should not be an all-or-nothing proposition. A phased return, whether it is part-time hours or lighter workloads initially, allows time for emotional adjustment, eases childcare transitions, and reduces overwhelm.

Flexibility (hybrid work, flexible hours, scheduling autonomy) must be exercised without fear of judgment. 

Pre-return manager check-ins should identify constraints and set realistic expectations. 

Regular follow-up conversations allow for dynamic adjustments.

Practical support for breastfeeding includes private, clean lactation rooms; refrigeration access; protected pumping time; and zero stigma around taking breaks.

Build a company culture where caregiving is professional, healthy boundaries are enforced, and flexible arrangements carry no penalty. Provide fair career development post-leave with genuine opportunities to explore and grow. Have honest discussions about ambitions and goals.

Finding the balance

Two years on, I’ve found a rhythm that sustains both work and family. A supportive work environment has allowed me to thrive as a working mother whilst maintaining flexibility for my child’s needs. I hope this teaches my daughter that pursuing her ambitions and raising a family are not mutually exclusive, they can coexist.

Where to get help:

Mental Well-being

• Institute of Mental Health’s Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
• Samaritans of Singapore: 1-767 (24 hours) / 9151-1767 (CareText via WhatsApp)
• Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
• Silver Ribbon Singapore: 6386-1928
• Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788
• Community Health Assessment Team 6493-6500/1

Counselling

• TOUCHline (Counselling): 1800-377-2252
• TOUCH Care Line (For Seniors & Caregivers): 6804-6555
• Care Corner Counselling Centre: 6353-1180

Online Resources

• Mindline SG
• Stay Prepared – My Mental Health
• ec2.sg

• Tinkle Friend
• Centre of Excellence for Youth Mental Health
• Care Corner